Really, Apple?

What’s happening, people? I apologize for the late posts, but recently I’ve had a bit of a health scare (all I’m gonna say is that it involved anonymous HIV testing). But guess what? The doctors gave your favorite blogger a clean bill of health! So no worries, I’m here to stay, people! (I can almost hear the haters all groan in unison).

Anyway, so what’s been going on in the world of technology? Well, almost everyone I know is talking about the new Apple stuff they just announced, so I decided to check it out for a bit. And let me tell you this, it’s pretty out there. Here, let me get you started.

First off, there’s this new MacBook that “revolutionizes” things again. Basically, it’s slimmer, and lighter than the previous ones. The thing is, this rises up some doubts for me. I mean does it become more fragile? Not only that, it now comes with a single USB port. A SINGLE port! One! It’s even used for power. So now everything relies on that one single USB port. Apparently it’s a new type of USB port, the Type-C. Well, we’ll see if it’s anything different from the usual USB. Of course, it comes with its own problems: USB ports are known to have vulnerabilities. Usually, someone can just not use the USB ports, but this time, the USB port is used for power as well. So, there may not be any way that people can bypass this vulnerability.

 

 

USB Vulnerability

 

 

That’s not the only thing they announced, of course. The other thing that was announced was the Apple Watch. That’s right, folks, Apple is now wading into the world of ‘smart’ accessories. Apparently it syncs with UTC, the universal time standard, every 50 miliseconds (also known to be too fast for normal people to measure). It also comes with its own array of apps, like Instagram, Uber, Twitter, etc. As if people need any more platforms where they can use those apps. You know, I just don’t get the craze with ‘smart’ watches. What’s the use for them? I mean, are you really going to answer calls using your watch, like you’re in some secret agent movie? That stuff just looks ridiculous to me.

 

Still, that’s not all. One thing I noticed from the announcement is a bit of a revelation: recently, Apple may have a bit of a fetish for gold, and they may not be right in the head. Don’t believe me? Read on, my dear readers. Firstly, that new MacBook I mentioned? It comes in three colors: Space Gray, Silver, and wait for it…Gold. That’s right, a MacBook that is gold in color. What, is it not premium enough already that you have to make it look gold in color? You would look like a prick if you show that in public (coffee shops and cafes come into mind). But the madness only shows in the Apple Watch. As if having a MacBook in gold color wasn’t enough, they’re going to release the Apple Watch in solid gold. That’s right, REAL gold, not just the color. Here’s what it says in the press release: “Apple Watch Edition features cases specially crafted from custom rose or yellow 18-karat gold alloys developed to be twice as hard as standard gold, a Retina display protected by polished sapphire crystal and a choice of uniquely designed straps and bands with 18-karat gold clasps, buckles or pins.”

 

Gold coins, right?

 

Now of course, there are more normal versions of the watch, but seriously? A watch featuring 18-karat gold? Who came up with these ideas? And that’s not all, you can get it for the cheap cheap price of…$10,000 USD. That’s right, 10 grand for a watch.

Apple is going crazy, people, and next thing you know, we’ll have gold iPads. Just wait for it. I’m on the side of Woz that Apple is not the company it was built for.

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